Strong

Last night a dear friend and I dined and caught up. As I vulnerably told her about my /failed/ marriage and my /semi/ functional family, she asked, “Octavia. Are you alone?”

I paused. I chuckled.

“Yes.”

“You have the weight of the wor–how do you come skipping into church every week!?”

And yes, I do skip. And hop. And laugh. And smile.

And no, it is not fake.

I do have a lot to process. And I do feel like crumbling most days. But I don’t crumble. I’m strong. And I surprise myself how much everyday.

~OR

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Invincible

Today, I am invincible.

in·vin·ci·ble

inˈvinsəb(ə)l/

adjective

adjective: invincible

  1. too powerful to be defeated or overcome.

“an invincible warrior”

synonyms: invulnerable, indestructible, unconquerable, unbeatable, indomitable, unassailable; More

 

You get two sides of me today that combine for all that I am currently feeling: Old Church Lady and Universal Goddess.

  

 First, Old Church Lady:

Hi hunny how you doin. Praise Jesus. Let us turn to Romans Chapter 8, verse 31.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

 CAN I GET AN AMEN!?

I mean seriously. I didn’t even finish sharing everything I adore about this passage. That right there makes we want to jump up, shout HALLELUJER, cry, dance, throw myself on the floor, roll around in God juice, and do it all over again. I mean for real. Romans 8:31 gives me a burning hot case of the Holy Ghost.

Let us continue…

 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors…

(DID YOU SEE THAT? More. Than. Conquerors. Hot damn. My burning hot case of the Holy Ghost just flared up again.)

 …through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

YAS! YAAAS. YUSSSSS.

Every time I feel like I’ve been kicked in the teeth repeatedly by complete strangers –

Every time I look to those in my life that should love me unconditionally and don’t –

Every time I have to choose to maturely work through the pain of rejection –

Every time I step aside and deliberately decide to not be a victim –

Every time I look at injustices around me; not only in my own life but so many of us that struggle –

Every time I wonder WTF –

Every time I see others writhing in grief –

I open up this passage and remember: THIS. IS. TEMPORARY. You can do this – I can do this – because, really – who could possibly be against us?

And now, Universal Goddess me levitates into the room, calmly stretches her arms in a receiving-energy stature. Her voice sounds like the gentle vibration of harp strings:

 “You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

THAT IS DOPE. DOPE! And from my most favorite poem ever here (Desiderata on Father’s Day).

Like really. We all got this. We’re made of the same stuff as the stars! REALLY! REALLY. That. Is. Dope. Stars do their star thing. They grow. They shine. They burn. And it is good and right and well. Whatever is happening is just part of how we shine brighter and brighter until we become a new form of energy. What sets out to destroy stars?

So yes, today, I am the stars. I am more than a conqueror. I am invincible.

~OR