Loved

Loved.

love

ləv/

verb

past tense: loved; past participle: loved

  1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

“do you love me?”

synonyms: care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolizeworship;

be in love with, be infatuated with, be smitten with, be besotted with;

informalbe mad/crazy/nuts/wild about, have a crush on, carry a torch for

“she loves him”

antonyms: hate
  • like very much; find pleasure in.

“I’d love a cup of tea, thanks”

synonyms: like very much, delight in, enjoy greatly, have a passion for, take great pleasure in, derive great pleasure from, relishsavor;

have a weakness for, be partial to, have a soft spot for, have a taste for, be taken with;

informalget a kick out of, have a thing about, be mad/crazy/nuts/wild about, be hooked on, get off on

“Laura loved painting”

antonyms: hate

  

 I feel loved. I am loved. And realizing just how much – especially recently – has lured tears from my eyes and brought me to my knees.

Social media is a curious thing. We feel so connected and aware of each other’s lives…but appearances can be deceiving. We’re allowed to dictate what parts of our lives we want our connections to see, while appearing genuine and honest. We have the illusion of intimacy but we’re mostly scamming each other whether we mean to or not. We want to celebrate the good things – not even with the intent of bragging – just highlighting the positive, while minimizing – or completely ignoring the painful times, the struggles, the rawness of life.

If I were 100% vocal about my heartaches and woes, would anyone truly care? Perhaps – but the rest of you would react in other ways – pity; irritation; discomfort. The truth is, other people’s pain makes us uncomfortable, and while we want to be honest, we really don’t want to participate in anyone else’s honesty #amiright.

My point is that even if I look like everything is fine and I have it all together, I don’t. 

Most days are better than others, this is true, and I’m grateful for those days. But overall I am miles from where I want to be. I’m hanging on by as many threads as I can possibly hold and doing the best I can with the resources I have. 

Like it says in one of my favorite poems she made broken look beautiful…

Ok don’t get me started. What I need to express is this:

I am loved. Openness and closeness with anyone is something I typically avoid like the plague. I prefer the illusion of closeness while keeping most people at arm’s distance.

However, I’ve learned to be vulnerable (which is terrifying but beautiful) and for those of you that are in that inmost circle and have gone above and beyond and miles out of your way to help me escape, forget, relax, laugh, cry, and literally put food on the table, THANK YOU.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am loved.

I am loved by you.  And I love you too. You know who you are and I am desperately grateful for you and the way you have and continue to bless my life.

There’s no way to express the depth of my gratitude. Just know that you are also loved dearly. It is a feeling beyond words to learn there are people – not necessarily related by blood – that can care so much for another person…that cannot turn their back on someone in anguish…that truly care about someone’s well-being…that want to spend hours-days-space together no matter the time-lapse, cost, or distance.

You are my soul-friends, life-mates, my tribe, my family. You make the terrifying times less scary; the bumpy times less nauseating; the devastating times less impossible; the penniless times less hopeless; the dark times less endless.

Thank you for loving me.

~OR

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