Hey. Yeah. I’m here. I’m here!
Last year threw me off. I mean honestly, the whole daggone year… threw. Me. Off.
To say the least, in my most powerful metaphoric voice, I felt like I was tasked with navigating an unfamiliar forest in the dark with no resources, with no explanation as to why or what the heck is even waiting at the end of the jungle.
Think: Survivor, in perpetual nightfall, with no objective.
It. Sucked. I mean, honestly, there were a lot of great moments. New friendships. Rekindled friendships. Many invaluable learning experiences with relationships – romantic and otherwise. I found my tribes and I love them. Personal steps towards true vulnerability, honesty, and healing…
So ok fine, it didn’t completely suck. It was just…difficult…a very uncomfortable year. It was a GROWTH year. A wilderness year.
While I tend to make resolutions as needed and //get my mind right// when it needs it, not necessarily in a symbolic way; this year, for the sake of ceremony and committing to something amazing, I’m making a legit NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION. But it’s not that easy…
For the most part, I just need to dedicate myself to…myself.
I have no doubt 2016 is its own forest, but this time, I’m bringing a compass, food, water, a pocket knife, and you best believe, a flashlight. But 2016 is not shrouded in darkness. I can feel it. The sun will rise on my blackened forest this year. I will rise this year.
Part of my dedication is being proactive, rather than reactive. And to help ground myself, I’m committing to carving out time for what is the most important – of course my children always have priority – but outside of my prearranged and consistent time with them, I just work – home – dance – church – repeat. That sounds like enough, but without process time; reflection time; me time (especially for a brain as vocal and reeling as mine), my “routine” is worthless – exhausting obligations with no meaning – unless I take the time to pause, reflect and address my internal to-do list.
For me, 2016 is about meaning, not motions.
2016 I take my reigns back. And burn them.
2016 I redefine myself…again… hey, this transition is trial-and-error. Hell, LIFE is trial-and-error.
2016 I learn to take zero exceptions, advocate for myself, know my value, stand firm in my worth, and truly be in charge of myself.
2016 I will meditate on a word a day and continue on my road to relovery.